Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Reflections on Anticpatory Grief

Take a breath… and let yourself arrive here, in this moment.
Feel the ground beneath you, holding you.
Notice the breath moving in and out, carrying you gently.

When we care for a loved one at the end of life, grief begins long before death.
It comes quietly—woven into the fabric of our days.
There is the joy of still having them here,
and at the same time, the ache of knowing they are leaving.
We live in two worlds at once:
the world of presence, of shared stories, smiles, the warmth of touch—
and the world of absence already making itself known.

We grieve the small daily losses—
a fading memory, a voice that grows weaker,
the independence slowly slipping away.
We may not speak of these sorrows, but we carry them.
They live in our hearts, in the hidden exhaustion of caregiving,
in the nights we lie awake, keeping vigil silently.

And yet… this grief, tender as it is, can also open us.
It invites us to slow down,
to notice the sacredness of each moment:
a look, a laugh, a word,
or even the silence that holds us both.

Anticipatory grief stirs longings in us—
to say what matters,
to listen more deeply,
to bless, and to be blessed.
It awakens us to love in its most honest, unguarded form.

Caring for a loved one in this threshold time is not easy.
It asks us to honor our own grief as much as we honor theirs.
To give space for our tears, our weariness, our tenderness—
to let love and sorrow walk hand in hand.

And as we open to this,
we begin to sense the mystery of transition,
how grief is preparing us—
softening us, steadying us—
for the moment when we must finally let go.

Take another breath.
Feel your heart—full of love, full of ache—
and know that both are welcome here.
In this journey of anticipatory grief,
you are not alone.
You are walking with countless others,
and you are held by something larger—
a mystery, a grace—
that carries us all across the threshold of life and death.

~Alexandra Kennedy